Yuu thought he hadn't heard right.
"Why are you sorry?!" Yuu bolted upright.
"Because, I am really an asshole, Yuu! I knew it, I knew that something bad was going to happen to you that night. Yet I gave you the benifit of the doubt, and looked what happened. To my best friend--rape?!" Makoto cried. He rarely cried, and when he did it was moving. "I should have followed you. I hate libraries, but my love for you is greater than t--"
"Run that by me again," Yuu began to tremble.
At first Makoto looked confused. Then he blushed, and made this nevermind hand gesture. Yuu wasn't going down that easily.
"Run that by me again."
"No," Makoto said quietly, and more tears began to fall.
"Run that by me again," Yuu said more sternly.
"Yuu, even when your sick you are still the stubborn bastard I know." Makoto said warily. "Alright. I love you okay. I know you aren't a fan of boys who fall for boys, but I love you. Maybe these are just hormones, I hope they are."
Silence ensued. The only thing that Yuu could hear was his own heart beating. Makoto loved him? What the hell? Yuu never noticed it. He didn't notice any changes in his friend's behavior around him. The only thing was he had caught Makoto staring at him, more than once--but Makoto always daydreamed.
Yuu's eye's filled with tears.
"..and now, you've been violated! Damn, if I'da been there, that punk would have been pummeled!" Makoto continued.
"Makoto, I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way," Yuu turned then and looked at his friend.
He still looked the same. Makoto, the boy who's hair was once brown--now blonde. The boy who got all the girls--the dirty ones and the clean ones. The boy who kissed him in first grade. The boy who vowed...vowed...to be his bestest friend no matter what. Yuu Kashitaro didn't want that to change...it couldn't. But now, he was afraid that his words would change everything.
"I know dude," Makoto said softly. "I know your straight, and I know I'm straight--I honestly think it's the hormones. Or the way you look. I actually looked at you for the first time in sixth grade, and noticed that you looked exactly like a girl, so pale, so weak...sexy or something. I haven't felt like this for any other guy...only you and I knew it wasn't going to work. I'm not hurt about this, I'm hurt that you've been hurt. Mentally, physically," Makoto got this far away look for a split second--rememberence, "and it'll be a lond time before you recover. I'm sorry--I indirectly put you through it all, Yuu."
"Not only you Makoto," Yuu turned away. "Me and my body. Even I doubted that Rin would have the guts to do this, but he did and always would have. You can't, couldn't have protected me forever. I never told when I should have. I am partly to blame. Don't be beat yourself up over it."
Yuu suddenly felt very tired. Makoto sensed and picked up his bag.
"I guess I will visit you tomorrow, dude."
"Ah-huh," Yuu mumbled.
"Yuu, I think I know why that Rin guy did this to you..." Makoto said seriously.
"Your dad married that guy's mother."